afgsh

VRAI

TODAY:
Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22)
You may have so much to do that even as you finish one task, your workload still seems to grow. As crazy as it sounds, planning a social event for the evening may be just the right thing now. Do what you can to enjoy yourself after putting out so much effort. There's no need to justify your desire for relaxation to anyone; you certainly deserve it.



TOMORROW:
Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22)
You are entering a phase of heightened popularity at work and within your community. You are more concerned these days with how you are perceived in the outer world than with friends and family. Magnetic Venus in your 10th House of Career and Status attracts others to you and you are ready to be recognized and appreciated. Fortunately, your hard work can bring you the social rewards you seek.
  • Current Music
    Summer Nights
afgsh

I have been postponing this entry.

never in my life have I felt such pain.

Senior Recital hit me like a ton of bricks. I have always talked about how excited I am about leaving and moving on. But now I am realizing all the amazing things I have to leave behind in the process. It sounds all so cliche.

I dont understand half our class.

I sobbed, me the "no crying ever" sobbed for 3 hours after senior recital was over. I was so empty. I kept looking at the stage thinking of all the shows I was never a part of and how my last main stage show was a goodbye show.

And banquet was hard too. I love the underclassmen (well some) and I want to be remembered here. More than anything. I know that I didnt do anything extradinary or survive any big diasaster but I still want to think I have inspired some one younger than me to keep learning or find something they love.

I look at these people I have known for 4 years and think how some take so much for granted. That is half the reason I couldnt stand energy circle for GaD. Because although we all feel unvalidated sometimes, whining about rehearsals when their are so many who would kill for the opportunity...

These next two weeks are going to be hard.

Its kinda awkward now because we have nothing to really do but everytime I walk into theatre I just want to pass out on that disgusting rug in our classroom and sob my heart out. There is so much I want to replay in my mind and I dont know if I have time for it.

House season finale was really hard too. It was so realistic and really made me already broken heart ache. Next season is going to be hard to watch without anyone to scream with.

Is it really time?

Today with Mr. Keys was lovely. I love hearing stories about peoples past and their personal views and when that person is Mr. Keys it makes it so much better.

I feel all alone suddenly. Like all the other senior classes were aching to leave and I am all alone. Staring at backstage walls remembering shows...

I love
you.
you?
you!
you...

I took a nice long bath and just listened to the rain. Its times like these I wished I had someone to tell me how beautiful I am. Hello Identity crisis.


One reason I feel so emotionally distraght is because I know something is going to happen. Some tragedy is going to be bestowed upon us. I know it. And it terrifies me...


Sorry I'm only human
you know me
Grown up oh no guess again

My days always
Dry up and blow away
Sometimes I could do that too
But make no mistake that

When you need a friend
You could count on anyone
But you know I'll defend
The tragedy that we knew as
The end

Progress, changing
Growing then giving up
Somehow we're never quite prepared
But I understand it

When you need a friend
You could count on anyone
But you know I'll defend
The tragedy that we knew as
The end

So taking you with me would be like
Taking all your money to the grave
It does no good to anyone especially
The one you're trying to save
But it's so hard not to save

When you need a friend
You could count on anyone
But you know I'll defend
The tragedy that we knew as
The end
  • Current Music
    the end
afgsh

virgo vs.

Think before you speak.

If you dont have something nice to say dont say it at all.

this is awkward
you and your deep thoughts
its really quiet cruel



EDT:

Home again.

had a loong chat with grandmammy
feel better now
...kinda
  • Current Music
    silence
afgsh

philosophical post bewars

Saturday- Met someone new. His name is Noah. And we're friends. I am so proud of myself for making a random lunch date with an amazing person and coming out wiser and happy :]

Saturnight- Brinner. Saramaile came over and sang Italian songs with me which then turned into cooking breakfast and singing show tunes we have never heard of, yet still knowing all the lyrics. Joined by Nate, Anthony, Kylie, Anna, Jacob, and Jamie. Got cute and headed over to Ericas to say Hi before the wall.

I didn't end up going to the wall because tomorrow was mothers day and I really couldnt be hung over :] but it was okay

Sunday- Mothers Day! Fun (and overwhelming) It was nice :]


Senior Recital is at the end of this week and I am kinda excited to see what class will be like after that

Will shit hit the fan? Or will it all be dirty tactics?

Either sounds like a good time...just let me bring the popcorn first

EDT: My mom just came home and bitched me out.
I ruined her mothers day.

I'm sorry mommy.
  • Current Music
    Imogene Heap
afgsh

I wanna go...

Tipsy Kinda Day

I am seriously sick of doing NOTHING in school
:[ poo


SYESHA!
:] she <2 us


waiting for SYESHA
...not so fun ;[


Shopping with CAITLIN!
I am so excited to finish the outfit :]


Drinking with Parents!
:] always fun

Mom: Amber you will drink that Cosmo and get drunk and pass out
Dad: I am sure she'll be fine its not that hard...besides I am sure she's been drinking before...
*both stare pointedly at me*
Me: I plead the 5th

:]
  • Current Music
    parents talking to brother via phone
afgsh

yay tap time

In tap time
(not to be confused with tap class)

I notice I keep forgetting things
which is siriously unlike me
Yesturday my shpeeshpone
today my folder
so I have nothing to work on
:[

Maybe I will run home during lunch?
ms.ray will kill me though
blah

I came to the realization this mornining
I overreact with guys
Just because I have his number doesnt mean I have to call him (although I promised Robby I would)

gah I hate couples
and trying
Give me smexy white shirted boys watching me swing my hips at the wall anyday

Yes SMT I am daydreaming about him right now
and I am not freaking out
and he isnt being dumb
because in my head
its so simple

woo EXTRA LONG LJ POST FTW
I am kinda sleepy
maybe I will go to bed early?

Everyone is talking about how they slept
100000000 hours last night or whatnot
I stayed up till 11
oops

I didnt do anything yesturday
stared at my computer screen
with random periods of dance

3 WEEKS!
Ist that just the most unrealistic news EVER!?

(btw)
Its a little less awkward between us now
today was okay

I dont want to go to french...

...oh dear
this is a very long post
sorry
I like typing with my nails!
It feels good :]
and sounds awesome

EDT:
I just calculated the American $ to Euro
I died a little
Paris! Why are you going to be the death of me?!
  • Current Music
    tap time
afgsh

Prom Bitches

PART 1: Pictures and dinner
Pictures = hilarous
Erica, Angela, Annie, Saramaile, and myself all look fabulous
and the pictures turned out beautiful

Dinner = gross
Esca sucked cooz juice
but Caitlin met us there and amazed us with her beauty

PART 2: Prom
It was okay.
Best thing was the last 30 min before we left with Mr.Keys dancing with us
<2
I kinda missed some of my friends
and I deff. noticed the people who dont consider themselves my friend
well you cant win them all :] (coughcoughSYRACUSEcoughcough)

Part 3: The Wall
Words cannot descirbe how absolutly fucking brillent it was
We all looked delicous and the boys deff. noticed ;]
plus Jamie, Nate, Thayer + some joining later added some spice

Part 4: Home After After Prom Party
Kinda strange mix of people showed up
it wasnt too awkward so that was okay
passed out around 6am gah

Part 5: Morning After
Traditional Hangover breakfest cooked by yours truley
yummmy

Grade: A
It deff. had its highs and lows but the best part was being with people who care about me and know when I need a good drink :]
I am really proud of myself too I mean their were alot of little things that could have ruined my night...but I am above that.

Later bitches
  • Current Music
    Saramaile Snickering
afgsh

Home again.

This weekend turned out amazing.

My parents were really great and gave me space when I needed it and we didnt kill each other.


I now have the inspiration for my senior recital piece.
Not worried.

I have two places in the world where I know I will thrive and grow.
Now I have to choose which path I want.

I am so blessed. Thats what this weekend taught me.

1. I have parents that love me and are willing to work 24/7 to send me to the collge of my choice, while supporting my older brother at his dream school.

2. I have the personality to make people stop and think "wow, I want to see her succeed in life"

3. I have the opportunity to do amazing things with my life and be couragous and go out of state by myself.

Bring. It. On.
  • Current Music
    Jason Mraz